Relationships

Want to optimize your relationship? My wife, Alexandra, joins us for this special class. Join us as we explore 10 of our favorite Big Ideas–starting with a definition of love then looking at the difference between falling in vs. standing in love and then some nuts and bolts Ideas on how to rock it.

Suzie and James Pawelski are two of the world's leading positive psychology experts. James cofounded the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania with Martin Seligman while Suzie is a graduate of the program and a leading freelance writer and consultant. Together they've written an incredible book on "Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts." I’ve been waiting for a very long time for the book that would make me say: “READ THIS BOOK if you want to figure out how to integrate Ancient Wisdom + Modern Science + Practical Tools to Optimize your relationship.” And, well, THIS book is it. I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, it's not only my #1 Love book recommendation, it's also cracked the Top 10 all-time greatest list. Big Ideas we explore include The Relationship Gym (hit it!), Aristotelian Lovers (the REAL Soul Mates), SNAP (James geniuses x2), Know Thy... (self and thy partner!), and Love Is an Action Verb (let's commit to flourishing together TODAY!).

The Doctor of Love is in da house! In this Note, we'll explore some of Buscaglia's Big Ideas on how to live with a lotta Love— starting with the fact that if we want to master the subject, we've gotta *study* it! We'll also look at how important it is to fully express ourselves and that a truly loving relationship is one in which both partners are committed to their own growth and supporting their love's growth. (P.S. My Goddess was the first chica I'd met who'd read this book and I think I fell in love on our 1st date when she told me she loved it, too!)

Want to make your relationship work? Then you’d be wise to turn toward the world’s leading researcher on the science of what makes love work: John Gottman. This book has sold over 1 million copies and it’s easy to see why. Big Ideas we explore: How Gottman can predict divorce with 91% accuracy (in < 15 minutes), a quick look at the 7 principles, the power of cherishing your partner, turning toward (and not being a tech rat), how to solve the solvable problems and starting “I love you” with the “I.”

Nonviolent Communication has sold over 1,000,000 copies. Why? It works. There are four key components to NVC: Observations + Feelings + Needs + Requests. In this Note, we'll take a quick look at each of them along with some other Big Ideas to communicate more compassionately.

Kristin Neff established self-compassion as a field of study almost a decade ago—bringing the Buddhist practice of self-compassion into her labs so the benefits could be empirically validated. In this Note, we explore the three core elements of self-compassion (self-kindness + common humanity + mindfulness) and why it's so important for us to cultivate!

Ready to upgrade your vision of love? Then you’re in for a treat with this fantastic book by Barbara Fredrickson. Barbara is one of the world’s leading positive psychologists. The book is incredibly well-written, deeply inspiring and incredibly practical as well. In fact, I just told Alexandra that this book might be the one that most positively impacts my life. Big Ideas we explore include: Love 1.0 vs. Love 2.0, taking a trip to Vagus, identifying our prevailing desire, #1 tip: create 3 loving moments today, exiting our cocoon of self-absorption via loving-kindness meditation, and Love 2.0 x 2: compassionate + celebratory love.

Erich Fromm, a leading 20th century psychologist, tells us that love is an art--and that if we want to master love then we need to study it like we would any other art we want to master. In this Note, we’ll explore some Big Ideas on how to rock both the theory and the practice of love. Big Ideas include moving from “falling in” love to “STANDING in” love plus the need to get rid of the illusions of a perfect relationship. If you’re looking for more love in your life, you’ll dig it.

One of the classics of Positive Psychology, Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence established the fact that IQ doesn't account for why some of us succeed and function well and others don't. In this Note, we'll explore some (really) Big Ideas on how to scientifically get our emotional intelligence on—from the power of delaying gratification to how worrying can act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

Dr. Michelle Segar is the world’s leading authority on what motivates people to choose and maintain healthy behaviors. As you’d imagine, Dr. Segar has some *really* powerful ideas on, as the sub-title suggests, “How the simple science of motivation can bring you a lifetime of fitness.” Big Ideas we explore include the importance of meaning, moving exercise from a chore to a gift and embracing a learning mindset.

Eknath Easwaran is one of my favorite teachers and one of the most beloved spiritual teachers of the 20th century. He walked with Gandhi in his native India and shows us to be the change while making our life our message. We'll explore how to change the gears of our thinking, detox from mas media and engage in practical idealism.