Neil Fiore

Procrastination is not the cause of our problems with accomplishing tasks; it is an attempt to resolve a variety of underlying issues, including low self-esteem, perfectionism, fear of failure and of success, indecisiveness, an imbalance between work and play, ineffective goal-setting, and negative concepts about work and yourself.

These fears, Dr. Rubin says, keep us from reaching a level of life where we feel compassion and respect ourselves now—for who and where we are now. This compassion for ourselves is essential in overcoming the underlying causes of procrastination. It means understanding that procrastination is not a character defect; rather, it is an attempt—albeit an unsatisfactory one—at coping with the often incapacitating fear of having our worth held up for judgment.

The need to procrastinate as a protection against criticism and failure is particularly strong for those who feel they have to succeed at one specific goal, seeing no acceptable alternatives. Those who gain their sense of identity from many areas are more resilient when failing in any one area.

This has been borne out in studies by Yale psychologist Patricia W. Linville, who found that the more complex and varied your sense of self, the less likely you are to become depressed over stress in one area, because ‘you have these uncontaminated areas of your life that can act as buffers.’

In order to maximize your performance in a stressful world, you must create a protected and indisputable sense of worth for yourself. Until you do, energy and concentration will be drained from work and put into preparing for imagined threats to your survival, and into procrastination as a means of coping. Regardless of how you do it, or what you say, provide a safe place where you make yourself free of judgment, a place and a time where you can stop trying to perform perfectly.

It is not discipline, willpower, or pressure from others that facilitates adherence to a challenging course of action. Rather, it is the freedom to choose among alternatives, the personal commitment to a mission, and the willingness to take responsibility for the consequences of our decisions that steels the will and emboldens the spirit.

By talking to himself in ways that disrupted his old patterns, Don became very efficient in diverting self-criticism and depression about the impossible toward something constructive that he could accomplish.

That’s right, you can be more productive if you play more!

The bigger and more overwhelming the project seems to you, the greater your tendency to procrastinate. Anxiety will replace the natural tendency toward motivation and curiosity as you overwhelm yourself with all the steps involved and the image of all that’s at stake on this one important project.” ~

As you begin to speak to yourself in a language that focuses on results rather than blame, on choice rather than have to, on what is rather than what you think should be, you will find that your body and mind cooperate by providing a level of positive energy free from the unnecessary struggles of the past and negative comparisons with the future.

Who takes care of you when your conscious mind and ego go to sleep? What part of you continues to work—creating dreams, continuing to breathe, and repairing cells, producing more than five million healthy new red blood cells every minute, even though you don’t know much about cellular biology or anatomy?

If you had a guarantee from your Strongest Self that your worth is safe and that even when you experience a failure you’ll never be a failure, what would you try?

Just as it’s a characteristic of the human spirit to overcome its animal fear of fire, it’s also an assertion of your humanness to face difficulty for a higher purpose rather than to simply seek short-term pleasure and avoid discomfort.

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

While effort is required to produce advances in society and in your personal growth, struggle and striving are symptoms of the ego working alone, against nature—the laws of nature inside your own body and mind and in the larger universe.

It is important that you don’t waste time arguing with the insecure, self-critical part of you or reassuring it with “It’s OK.” Simply say, “Yes, I know your fears. Focus here now. I’m choosing to show up to see what we can do.”

Empowered by your leadership role, guide all aspects of yourself to this moment of vacation from worries about the past and future. Focus your attention on what you can do now to optimize your chances of achieving success and inner peace.

When your worrying mind is saying, “What’s wrong with me?” your Strongest Self can focus your attention on doing the task rather than wasting time in self-criticism.

When you choose to stay with something you’ve been avoiding, you’re telling your lower brains that the leader has decided to problem solve rather than run away. Your brain and body will shut off the fight-or-flight response and bring you a calmer, more focused level of energy.

Performing at your best—in sports, on work projects, or in relationships—boils down to the same skill: the ability to awaken your mature, Strongest Self so it can unite every part of your brain and psyche in a commitment to achieve your highest values and goals.