Dr. Russ Harris

So a useful question to ask ourselves whenever a goal seems to exceed our resources is: ‘What’s the smallest, simplest, easiest little step I could take in the next twenty-four hours that would take me a tiny bit closer to achieving it?’

Because you’re not investing any effort in fighting them, disputing them, or suppressing them, you can now put your energy into taking effective action. And because you’re not entangled in your thoughts, you can engage fully in whatever you’re doing.

If a thought has hooked you and pulled you away from living the life you want, then notice it, name it, and neutralize it.

If only you had more confidence, how would your life be different?

So here is the happiness trap in a nutshell: to find happiness, we try to avoid or get rid of bad feelings, but the harder we try, the more bad feelings we create.

A= Accept your thoughts and feelings and be present. C= Connect with your values. T = Take effective action.

The bottom line is not whether a thought is positive or negative, true or false, pleasant or unpleasant, optimistic or pessimistic, but whether it helps you create a fulfilling life.

Slow, deep breathing is important because it lowers the level of tension in your body. It won’t get rid of your feelings, but it will provide a center of calm within you. It’s like an anchor in the midst of an emotional storm: the anchor won’t get rid of the storm, but it will hold you steady until it passes.

I have to stress the importance of writing down your answers to these questions. Research shows that you’re far likelier to take action if you write your goals down than if you just think about them.