Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP

Agreeing to an ‘if-then’ contract with yourself also triples your chances of accomplishing tough goals.

The ability to ‘focus’ and do ‘deep work’ has been described as ‘the IQ of the 21st century by Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, who says adults who can focus will be the most prized individuals in coming years.

My experience taught me that grit is definitely not a quality reserved for the select few; it is available to anyone who wants something so badly that they won’t let anyone stop them until they’ve gone as far as they can, often achieving or coming close to that which they sought.

Implementation intentions (if-then scenarios) not only triple the likelihood of taking important actions toward accomplishing goals; they are most effective when used on hard-to-accomplish goals.

Locke and Latham also found in many studies that measurable goals produced more and better efforts. ‘That which cannot be measured cannot be achieved,’ they summarized beautifully in their seminal textbook.

If you demonstrate self-control one day, but not regularly, or you can persist when you want to, but not most of the time, then you will not cultivate authentic grit—instead, you are someone who is dabbling in grit. If you develop a purpose, but don’t set goals and get feedback about fulfilling your destiny, you are just another dreamer. And if you choose to give to others only when it suits you, instead of building a team of reciprocal relationships powered by generosity and altruism, you may achieve some of your goals, but you will always celebrate alone.

Dweck has gone one step further in her research and discovered that the use of a simple word ‘yet’ can create greater persistence when facing challenges. If you tell a child that they ‘didn’t answer the math questions correctly *yet*,’ that one word opens their minds to the idea that they can eventually solve the problems. She found that not only did the children become grittier, they also became more zestful, creative and hopeful when ‘yet’ opened up their eyes to the possibility of a different, limitless future. If ‘yet’ can change mind-set, imagine how many other words and phrases can unlock resilience and stick-to-itiveness!

People with grit are renowned for setting hard—some would say unrealistic—goals. Because people with grit don’t go for easy, low-hanging fruit and have to work persistently for a long time to see success, their pursuit of tough goals, and often their success in achieving them, is what inspires other people to step out of their comfort zone, too.

For people who want to set the bar high, grit is an essential character strength, and when I coach someone who doesn’t have it, I tell them that if they want to work with me, they’ll need to do things they have never done before, like say no to temptation and yes to constructive feedback. And when someone is ready for that challenge, it is a wonderful ride for both of us.