Brené Brown

“It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.”

The universe is not short on wake up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a Wholehearted life: loving ourselves.

To practice courage, compassion, and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, 'I’m all in.'

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.

When we feel good about the choices we’re making and when we’re engaging with the world from a place of worthiness rather than scarcity, we feel no need to judge and attack.

In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly... the question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way?” as it is: “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?

without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of feeling hurt. But as I look back on my own life and what Daring Greatly has meant to me, I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.

Daring greatly means finding our own path and respecting what that search looks like for other folks.

What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable.

Sharing something that you’ve created is a vulnerable but essential part of engaged and Wholehearted living. It’s the epitome of daring greatly.

I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.

Shame resilience is key to embracing our vulnerability. We can’t let ourselves be seen if we’re terrified by what people might think. Often ‘not being good at vulnerability’ means that we’re damn good at shame.

Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.

In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen—really seen.

Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.

To know you can navigate the wilderness on your own—to know that you can stay true to your beliefs, trust yourself, and survive it—that is true belonging.

The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid—all in the same moment. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind.

Social media are helpful in cultivating connection only to the extent that they’re used to create real community where there is structure, purpose, and meaning, and some face-to-face contact.

In all my research’s two-hundred-thousand-plus pieces of data, I can’t find a single example of courage that didn’t require vulnerability. Can you, in your life? Can you think of one moment of courage that didn’t require risk, uncertainty, and emotional exposure? I know the answer is no; I’ve asked too many people who say this—including special operations soldiers. No vulnerability, no courage. We have to show up and put ourselves out there.

It’s important to note that loneliness and being alone are very different things. Being alone or inhabiting solitude can be a powerful and healing thing. As an introvert, I deeply value alone time, and I often feel the loneliest when I’m with other people. In our house, we call that sense of being disconnected ‘the lonely feeling.’

Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5 percent. Living with obesity, 20 percent. Excessive drinking, 30 percent. And living with loneliness? It increases your odds of dying by 45 percent.

You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you can’t have both.