How to Be Charismatic #282

Charisma.

Most people think it’s something you either have or you don’t have.

But…

That’s a myth.

As Olivia Fox Cabane tells us in The Charisma Myth, research shows that we can ALL learn how to dial up our charisma and become more magnetically connected to those around us. It’s a skill we can learn.

How?

By practicing the three essential components of charisma: Presence + Power + Warmth.

Let’s take a quick look a each.

Rule #1 of charisma? PRESENCE. In fact, Stanford’s Emma Seppälä tells us: “Charisma, simply put, is absolute presence.”

Absolute presence. Think about and feel into that for a moment.

Guess what ISN’T present if you want THAT level of presence?

… Your smartphone.

Your smartphone is basically kryptonite for charisma. Don’t be the person constantly checking your phone for the latest push notification. You know what that tells the person you’re with? That you just don’t care that much about them. And, that’s a great way to kill all connection and charisma.

(Another pro tip: Make eye contact.)

Our second facet of charisma? Power.

Presence is the first step, but, according to Cabane, it’s not enough by itself. People are constantly, subconsciously detecting power or a lack thereof. Therefore, if we want to dial up our charisma, we need to dial up our personal power.

Easiest way to do that? Your body language. Stand tall, breathe deeply, smile. And, while you’re at it, another great, quick way to boost your power before an interaction is to recall a prior success. Visualize it. FEEL the power you had when you crushed it. Soak THAT in, smile and go connect.

The third facet of charisma? Warmth.

We may be present and powerful but if the person with whom we’re interacting doesn’t think we’ll use that power for their good then… no charisma.

So… Dial up your presence and your power AND your warmth. How? Well, easy. Truly care about the other person. Have a sense of goodwill for them. Want what’s best for them. And beam that love their way.

Charisma 101: Presence + Power + Warmth.

Where are you strong? (Celebrate it!) What needs work? (Have fun with that!)

Remember: Charisma is a skill. You can dial it up at will. Let’s practice a little more today!