Steve Chandler

The best gift you can give others (even better than the highly overrated “empathy”) is to have your own life work.

Don’t create your year, create your day. Figure out the perfect day and then live it. The year will take care of itself. So will your life.

What can I do in the next three minutes?

An overly empathetic person creates a poor relationship with time and energy. A time warrior does not ask, 'How do I feel?' but rather asks, 'How can I help?'

Commitments are things you keep no matter what happens to make them difficult to keep. Commitments are powerful. So be very selective when using them.

Master life yourself. That’s the greatest gift you can give your children.

'As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey,' said Emerson.

Principle 1: By setting limitations, we must choose the essential. So in everything you do, learn to set limitations. Principle 2: By choosing the essential, we create great impact with minimal resources. Always choose the essential to maximize your time and energy.

Reminder to myself: money is a reflection of bold and creative service.

I can program my mind one way or the other. Warrior or worrier. It’s up to me.

Now for the most interesting question ever. Here it is: Can your whole life become crazy good?

I can choose freedom, and if I choose freedom enough times, my life becomes better than good. It flies out there *beyond* good.

Self-criticism is like pulling a lamp’s plug out of the wall because it isn’t giving the room enough light. But now the room goes completely dark. Oops.

When I was a desperate, suicidal alcoholic and I came to your home and you made me a strong drink, you were pleasing me. If, instead, you took me to a Twelve-Step meeting you were serving me. There’s a big difference between pleasing and serving.

In my many years of coaching people (including coaching myself) games are the absolute best and most effective route to inspired action. They get me out of the stands and onto the field of play.

Transformation simply means change—my life is going to *change* out of what I get today. I am going to *apply* what I learn. I’m going to experiment with what I’ve learned today. I am going to listen all day with *usefulness* in mind. How can I use this?

Complaints are toxic when they aren’t converted into requests. They soon turn into resentments. And it isn’t long before those resentments show up to the party dressed as irreconcilable differences.

So rather than feeling the fear and doing it anyway—how about feeling the fear and looking for the thought that causes it?

All hopes and wishes are born of fear. They are a clinging to an imaginary “better” condition than this. Why just hope and dream? Work now. This is all you need. This gentle fearless moment right now.

When I’m upset, I’m upset by thoughts (just passing thoughts) about how my life should be versus how it really is.

Every feeling—especially fear—begins with a thought. And every thought causes a feeling. Nothing else can cause a feeling.

The development and use of willpower is the most direct access to happiness and motivation that I’ll ever have.

It’s hard to stay motivated when you’re confused. When you simplify your life, it gathers focus. The more you can focus your life, the more motivated it gets.

“We are each of us angels with only one wing,” said the Italian artist Luciano de Crescenzo, “and we can only fly embracing each other.”

G.K. Chesterton used to say, “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.”

If you’re watching too much television and you know it, you might find it useful to ask this one question: “Which side of the glass do I want to live on?”

The primary idea was this: One hour of planning saves three hours of execution.

Groucho Marx once said he found television very educational. “Every time someone turns it on,” he said, “I go in the other room to read a book.”

If something is worrying you, always do something about it. It doesn’t have to be the big thing that will make it disappear. It can be any small thing. But the positive effect it will have on you will be enormous.

The next time you’re worried about something, ask yourself, “What small thing can I do right now?” Then do it. Remember not to ask, “What could I possibly do to make this whole thing go away?” That question does not get you into action at all.

When we leave this world, we will ask ourselves one question: What’s different? What’s different because I was here? And the answer to that question will be the difference that we made.

As Emerson asked, “Why should the way I feel depend on the thoughts in someone else’s head?”

Here’s how to start: Rather than asking yourself what you feel like doing, ask yourself, ‘What needs to be done?’ Believe it or not, your joyful reinvention will begin by doing what’s necessary, by being in action. ... You will know what needs to be done. It’s never a mystery. Your invented future is waiting for you. All it asks is that you get busy. Do what needs to be done. .... Do it badly; do it slowly; do it fearfully; do it any way you have to, but do it.

Victims become passive when they can’t find faith, or confidence, or courage to do something. Then they tell themselves they don’t have the power to do it. Owners know that faith and courage only appear later in reflection. Action comes first. Action comes before the courage to act. Faith and courage are rewards—not requirements—for action. The power to do something often shows up halfway into the doing of the thing, not up front. ‘Do the thing,’ said Ralph Waldo Emerson,’ and you shall have the power.’

Understanding and mastering how you speak to yourself is the most important project you could ever take on. Get hooked on it like a hobby.

There is one word that does more damage and creates more victims than any other. It is the word ‘should.’ And you should never use it! (Oh my gosh I just did it. I should be more careful.) ‘Should’ actually reduces your motivation every time you use it. ‘Should’ is the most self-defeating word in the English language. It’s like a tranquilizer to the spirit.

Action doesn’t care about yes and no. To action, yes and no are just signposts like left and right, or up or down. They don’t mean anything discouraging. The more you respect action, the faster you will get what you want.

What if everyone in America did everything they could to avoid effort—and yet the secret of happiness was, in fact, the effort?

When you start relaxing the grip you have on your permanent identity and see that you can be anyone, who you *want to be* will become a more important person than who you ‘are.’ That moment in your life will be a big one.

It took me many years to learn that the answer to ‘How do I create?’ was . . . to create. To jump into the work. Jump into the waters. Then let innovation flow in from beyond thought. Keep moving inside the work. Don’t be afraid to open up to beyond what’s known. The best ideas eventually come from there. Not directly from ‘trying to figure this out.’

Every breath you breathe is an act of creation. Every thought you think. And you can take it from there. Expand it and express it. Paint it all on the ceiling of your cathedral and into the calendar of your life.