John M. Gottman

Despite what many therapists will tell you, you don’t have to resolve your major marital conflicts for your marriage to thrive.

More than 80 percent of the time, it’s the wife who brings up sticky marital issues, while the husband tries to avoid discussing them. This isn’t a symptom of a troubled marriage—it’s true in most happy marriages as well.

Remember, working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club.

People who stay married live four to eight years longer than people who don’t.

Couples who are demanding in their marriage are more likely to have deeply satisfying unions than those who lower their expectations.

I often think that if fitness buffs spent just 10 percent of their weekly workout time—say, twenty minutes a day—working on their marriage instead of their bodies, they would get three times the health benefits they derive from exercise class or the treadmill.

Your future can be bright even if your disagreements tend to be very negative. The secret is learning the right kind of damage control.

Couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice.

At the heart of the Seven Principles approach is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company.

I can predict whether a couple will divorce after watching and listening to them for just fifteen minutes.